My mother’s way of saying that she is refusing to be affected by the insult that was thrown at her previously in the day.
Insults are horrid, they can be verbal, physical or even subconsciously distributed. There is something that gets hold of the insult, as it lands in your mind and twists it and plays with it, just to dig the knife deeper and deeper into your back.
But there is a way to get out of that pain, to not let it land and take a hold on you.
Think about this, there are three parts of the brain – the chimp, the computer, and you.
The Chimp is the emotional side of things, takes into account something that hurt before and will have to, therefore, hurt again this time. The Chimp sources information from the computer and adds a ridiculous scenario. For example, you had an ice cream once – and it had a wasp in the middle of it – now instead of thinking diplomatically, when you get another ice cream a month later – well it’s
now winter, and I am in a different country, there are a few differences between this and the previous wasp experience – your mind thinks NEVER AGAIN, THERE WILL BE 12,000 WASPS THAT WILL STING YOU AND KILL YOU. This is the chimp, getting over reactive and weird in your head.
The computer – the section of your brain that holds all the information, that you had a bad time with a wasp, that it is winter and that you’re in a different country than the previous experience.
You – you, the level headed person, who can take information from the computer and make an educated guess on what the current situation will be – i.e you’re in a different place and it’s winter so let’s have a go at a new ice cream experience.
The same thing happens, when you
get insulted – you can either let the Chimp take over, and wallow in the pain and the heart wrenching feelings – maybe even decide that you’re never driving a car again, or never talking to that person again.
Or, your head, YOU, can say actually – I was being a bit silly then, or yes admittedly, I did speed through those traffic lights, and decide that that is that. You take it on the chin and move on. YOU decide what is happening, not your Chimp.
Personally, I get bogged down with the Chimp, I start to believe it all and secretly enjoy to criticise myself – but actually once you’ve learnt the different and the speed at which the chimp p***es off when you tell him to, wallowing just isn’t as fun any more.
Name your Chimp – makes it easier to be angry at it and tell it where to go!